Face of a Demon
by VoiceInTheDarkness
Summary: Mira used to hate her powers, it was thanks to them that they were chased out of home after home. Now though, she was grudgingly thankful for them. If she hadn't been born with such strong magic she would have been dead several times over. If she hadn't had these powers her siblings would be alive. Rated T for now, but might change to M in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Mira used to hate her powers. It was thanks to them that they were chased out of home after home. She was the oldest, supposed to look after her siblings, but she caused them so much though, she was grudgingly thankful for them. If she hadn't been born with such strong magic she would have been dead several times she hadn't had these powers her siblings would still be alive.

* * *

When they'd heard the rumors that their Mirajane was running rampant in the town she'd left for on a job, Fairy Tail had come investigating. If her magic hadn't finally run out, she would have probably killed them all. Not that it matters really. Mira thought, when she reflected back on it. When she'd woken up she'd found herself in the infirmary at Fairy Tail, unable to remember how she'd gotten there. Erza was the only person in the room, which confused Mira. _If I'm in the infirmary, where are Lisanna and Elfman? I can't sense their magic anywhere._

"Ah, you have finally awoken." Erza said stiffly, a haunted look in her eyes.

"Erza, where are Lisanna and Elfman? I remember going on a mission, and I remember… feeling a strange magic but after that there's just nothing. I know I brought them with me. Did they get out safe? I mean if I'm in the infirmary then something happened right?" This wasn't like her, this dread rising up inside her. _Why, why do I feel like I don't want to hear the answer? Why is Erza looking at me like that?_

She didn't normally act this way, especially not with Erza. More often than not, the two girls would start all out brawls with each other. Of course, when someone's your rival you end up spending a lot of time with them. So, while the two girls _were_ pretty close, they normally wouldn't ask about how the other was doing until _after_ they'd beaten each other senseless. It was just how things worked in Fairy Tail.

In Fairy Tail you also cared deeply for your fellow members. Thinking of someone else's safety before your own was extremely common. Nearly as common as causing extensive property damage whenever you went on a job. No one was quite sure when that had become a thing, but they all knew it was practically required of a Fairy Tail mage. That didn't mean they weren't punished for said property damage. They were all constantly getting angry letters from the Magic Council.

And Mira had more reason to worry about Lisanna and Elfman than she would her normal guild mates. Lisanna and Elfman were her younger siblings. They didn't have any parents-which seemed to be a rather common occurrence among the younger Fairy Tail mages-so it was up to Mira to look after them. She'd caused them more than enough trouble in the past, she really didn't need them getting hurt on one of her jobs to be added to her already extensive sources of guilt.

"From what we've been able to find out, the magic you ran into was similar to Take Over Magic, but far more dangerous. A type of magic that apparently invades the mind and draws out the magic it finds." Erza started carefully. She'd had this explained to her by Master and Levy, and they'd mentioned some pretty complicated things that she wasn't exactly able to think too deeply about at the moment, all things considered, but she at least had a basic idea. "Normally this just causes Magic Withdrawal but," Erza bit her lip and hesitated. _Erza doesn't hesitate. Why is Erza hesitating?_ "When confronted with exceptionally large amounts of power, it simply… goes crazy." Erza turned her head, hiding her face from Mira but revealing long claw marks running down the right side of her face. Red and angry, tinted with black around the edges. Mira would know those kinds of scars anywhere.

Mira was numb. She knew she had a large amount of magical power. You simply didn't become an S-class mage without having a lot of magic. She'd never considered a scenario where that would be a disadvantage during a job, and she was more than tempted to believe Erza was messing with her. But she knew exactly where those wounds came from.

"Erza… Erza tell me where Lisanna and Elfman are!" Mira could feel tears threatening to spill from her eyes. How long had it been since she'd last cried? Years. Since before Lisanna and Elfman had learned take over magic. When Erza just shook her head they overflowed onto her cheeks.

Her hands grabbed the thin blankets covering her legs, squeezing until the fabric began to tear. "Erza, who gave you those wounds? You got them on your last mission right? Clumsy Erza, you're always getting hurt aren't you?" The acid dripped easily from her mouth, a habit she couldn't remember starting. Try as she might, she couldn't stop the words from punching a hole in her stomach-they'd been aimed at Erza, but deep inside she knew they were meant for herself.

"I'm so sorry Mira. I wasn't strong enough to protect them. Forgive me." Mira had never seen Erza cry before, and couldn't merge the sight with her image of Erza.

Erza had a lot of experience in battle. She knew how to handle herself when Mira got serious-not to mention at least half the guild who were older and more experienced than either of them. She wasn't reckless, she wouldn't go into any battle without considering her own strengths and weaknesses, and how she could make use of them, for each and every enemy she faced. The rational part of Mira's brain was telling her that if Erza had taken a hit like that-when she had thousands of different armors at her disposal that could have negated the attack-then people who were less experienced with magic would end up with more than battle scars. She'd never once thought of her siblings as weak or inexperienced. Sure they weren't S-class mages like she and Erza, but they could handle themselves. But there were rules for a reason. And one of the most enforced rules in Fairy Tail was only S-class mages, or those accompanied by an S-class mage, could go on the tougher jobs. That's what her rational half was telling her.

But Mira wasn't exactly on speaking terms with the rational part of her brain at the moment.

Suddenly Mira was filled with rage. Throwing the cover off her legs-she didn't stop to think about how beaten up they were, about the fact that they shouldn't be able to hold her up-and shoved Erza against the wall. "What are you talking about Erza!? You're strong enough to beat me! Why didn't you stop me?! You should have stopped me!" Her words got stuck in her throat, anger and disgust coursing through her. She'd been weak and she was taking it out on someone else-she was taking it out on her best friend who she knew would have tried her hardest to save Lisanna and Elfman.

Erza couldn't reply, couldn't deny the accusations. She felt responsible, she felt so horrible. She was a plague-she really was. Why did everyone she became close to always end up getting hurt? She'd thought that Mira was strong enough to counter her natural bad luck. No-she couldn't make excuses for herself. She'd been weak, and given into loneliness.

So when Mira turned and stormed out of the infirmary, Erza didn't try and stop her. It was best she left.

No matter how hard she tried she'd never wash the blood of her friends off her hands. _I should have let Jellal kill me._

* * *

To say that Natsu hadn't taken the news well was an understatement.

There had been throwing, there had been yelling, and of course, there had been a whole lot of fire. He'd come to his senses eventually-he always did-but to keep him from doing some stupid and Natsu-like in the meantime, they'd chained him up.

Literally. Who knew they'd had magic resistant chains in the basement all these years.

When Mira stumbled through the guild hall, Natsu broke free of the restraints they'd put him in-somewhere in the guild someone began writing a fervent letter to the Magic Council about the importance of furthering anti-magic research. He slammed her against the wall, a crack running floor to ceiling showing just how angry he was. Her mouth opened as she tried to breathe, but her lungs seemed incapable after the impact. She must be more seriously hurt than she had realized if an attack from Natsu could leave her breathless. "You're a murderer! You killed her! You killed Lisanna!" The words continued to fly from his mouth, no longer making sense in her exhausted mind. Suddenly, she felt her arm turn into that of a demons, as if of its own accord. Tightening her grip around his neck, she squeezed until her joints began to pop in protest. When she thought her knuckles would break, she flung the now unconscious Natsu out of her way.

People flew out of her way as she stumbled toward the doors. She could hear Master yelling something at her, but a blast of dark magic in his general direction and he shut right up. She didn't belong in Fairy Tail. It was a place she no longer had the right to be. She'd never felt any particular fondness to the place-if she'd been listening her conscience would have told her that wasn't true-but Lisanna and Elfman had truly loved it. She couldn't taint their home with her murderous existence.

She transformed her ratty clothes into a cloak, shrouding her face from view, just as she had done so many times before. It would take a little getting used to, but she would adjust. No one should have to see the face of a demon after all.

* * *

AN: There weren't nearly enough stories focusing on Mira so I decided to write one myself. The problem was Mira is pretty much completely oriented around her siblings, and if I wanted Mira to go out and kick butt I'd have to have them along for the ride too. So I needed to get rid of them. As luck would have it that just happened to give me the story start that I needed. So enjoy this, my first ever multi chapter story. I do have a number of chapters written but I need to fine tune most of them until I'll be happy with them, I currently am planning tentatively to update once a week but we'll see how that goes. Please tell me any errors you find-I'm horrendous with spelling so I'm sure there's a great deal of gibberish words in here. If for some reason you like the story enough to want to help me improve it, I'm in the market for a beta reader, feel free to send a message my way. Thank you for taking the time to read this far, I hope you'll tolerate me until the end-which might not be for quite a while. I've got some ideas of where to take this story, but I suppose we'll see what happens. Until next time; Stay floating your boat or something.

A/N *Update* Just some grammar and spelling corrections with some very minor tweaking of the story.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A cool breeze rustled the edges of her fraying cloak. Mira's eyes were dry as she stared down at the tombstones before her. She'd cried all of her tears over the past two years.

She wondered briefly if Master had taken any of the money out of her account to pay for these. She'd deposited all her Jewels whenever she had the chance, but she'd never checked to see if it was being used. She was glad they were simple stones, nothing fancy about them. They'd have preferred it that way, she was sure.

She hadn't planned on returning to Magnolia. She was no longer a member of Fairy Tail, not even Master would consider her a member now surely. Her left hand rubbed over her guild mark, she'd never had the heart to remove it.

Mira took a deep breath, steadying herself for what was to come. Turning on her heel she marched determinedly out of the church's graveyard, toward the town's only mage guild. She had some old friends to see.

* * *

"Natsu! Stop picking fights with Gajeel already!" Lucy yelled in exasperation. They hadn't even been back a full day yet and already the two dragon slayers had gone at it no less than 7 times.

The bartender laughed at her grumbling. Lucy knew she should learn her name, but since she wasn't a member of Fairy Tail, just a hired hand, she could never seem to.

Erza slid into the seat next to Lucy and timidly asked for a drink. Lucy still couldn't get over the transformation of the S-class wizard. Not even two months ago she wouldn't have been brave enough to sit this close to anyone. Lucy didn't quite know how the change had started. Perhaps it was after the Masters annual meeting. That was the first time she'd ever heard of Erza forming a team. After that they'd all ended up on job after job together.

Lucy gently fingered Loke-no _Leo's_ -key as she thought about the last adventure they'd ended up on. Lucy had had no idea how dark her guild mates' past had been. She knew she was lucky to be alive, after having been hit by Etherion, but she couldn't help but wish that something similar would happen again soon. She loved every minute she spent with her friends. Nothing was boring around them. They made even the worst things enjoyable.

There was _nothing_ better than being a Fairy Tail mage!

Just as that thought passed through her mind, Lucy noticed Erza stiffen beside her. She was about to ask her what was wrong when she sensed the immense dark magic coming towards the guild.

Instantly the entire place was on the defensive, ready for anything that would walk through their doors.

* * *

Mira was used to people running away from her. She knew they were scarred of her power, that any rational person would run from a demon. She didn't think there was any part of her that could be hurt more than it already had. But she was wrong. Seeing Fairy Tail poised to attack just from her opening the door broke her heart-a feat she hadn't thought possible without actually possessing a heart.

Erza was the first person to lower her stance. Mira just glided over to the bar, silently placed Jewels on the counter for a drink and took a seat. When the bartender didn't move, Mira sighed, drawing her hood closer over her face, and stood up. She put her left leg on the stool she had just been sitting on, and raised her cloak high enough to show the frozen girl her guild mark. The girl blinked slowly, before finally reaching slowly to take Mira's money when Erza put her hand in the way. Mira couldn't help but note that Erza hadn't exquiped her armor yet, and wondered if that was due to shock or if it was some new habit. Instantly she hissed at herself. She had no right to be curious. Slowly, distrustfully, Mira sat back down on her stool.

"This drinks on me. Welcome back, Mirajane." She said, flashing a kind smile that shone from her every being. Mira was glad her face couldn't be seen under her hood, she never wanted to admit how much it hurt to hear Erza use her full name.

"M-Mirajane!? You mean _the_ Mirajane? Demon Mirajane?" A blond girl standing next to Erza squeaked, one hand on a ring of keys on her hip, the other in front of her mouth. Mira simply tossed back the drink Erza had bought her. It wasn't nearly strong enough. She was pleased to find that her glass was refilled as soon as it was emptied. With any luck this would last, and she'd actually be able to get drunk enough to forget for a few minutes. She wouldn't hold her breath though. In the two years she'd been gone there hadn't been a single moment where she was able to forget.

"That's right, she's been a member of Fairy Tail for a long time now." Erza said, sliding back into her seat as well. The majority of the guild had relaxed enough to begin partying about their long lost members return, but Mira couldn't help but notice that some of them-particularly the members she couldn't recognize-still seemed afraid of her.

"Yeah Luce, she's been gone for two years so you haven't had the chance to meet her. She's also an S-class wizard like Erza. She's gotten a lot stronger though-I can't believe I could feel your power from the front of the guild! You've got to fight me Mira!" A warm voice yelled from behind Mira.

Her glass dropped from her hand, she spun quickly, smashing her leg against the side of the pink head, making sure her heel connected with a crunch, letting momentum bring her down on top of the teen. She was about to reach for her knife when she came to her senses. She immediately jumped up, backing away quickly. She opened her mouth to apologize but it had been so long since shed spoken anything that she couldn't find the words. It had been a force of habit, normally when someone said anything about fighting to her they were trying to kill her. She knew she had a large bounty on her head. That's what happens when rumors spread saying you kill senselessly.

The guild was silent for a moment before a gruff laugh broke everyone's trance.

"Ge-hehe. She got you good Salamander." A black haired teen guffawed from where he stood across the guild hall. He turned his attention to Mira and shifted into a defensive position. "You should try someone tougher on for size, like me." And with that he launched himself at her, ignoring the mages that jumped out of his way.

Without pausing to think Mira used her satan-soul take over, and launched herself at the oncoming opponent. The instant her hand connected with his shocked face she blasted him full force, smashing him out through the wall of the guild. She was about to fling herself after him but a voice stopped her in her tracks.

"We just rebuilt this place you know, I don't want to have to rebuild it, Mira." At the sound of the voice Mira's takeover faded away.

"I-I'm sorry." Mira managed to croak.

She noticed Erza's eyes widen at the sound of her voice, but Makarov acted as though he didn't notice anything strange about it. He just laughed. "It's fine, it's fine! If the walls didn't break it just wouldn't be Fairy Tail anymore." Master continued to laugh, as though it were funny. But it wasn't funny.

She'd attacked members of Fairy Tail without a second thought. She had believed she was prepared for this, but she was wrong. She couldn't even handle being in the guild for five minutes. She turned to run away, but a firm hand held her back.

"Miraja-Mira." This wasn't the voice of the Erza she knew. It was weak, and scared. Titania was scared of Demon Mirajane.

"Wow! You've got such a pretty face! I can't believe you cover it up all the time." The blond haired girl was kneeling in front of Mira, peering up at her face in amazement. Before she could stop her the girl reached up and pulled her hood away. "There, that's better! I'm Lucy, its nice to meet-" The girl began brightly before Mira's scream choked her to a stop.

"Don't look at me! No one look at me! Get away! I'm a monster, don't you understand? I'm a _demon_! I'm a **_murderer_**!" She couldn't breathe; the darkness was closing in again. She clawed desperately for her hood, as her knees gave out. Finally she felt the familiar material beneath her fingers, and she tried to wrench it over her head, but the fabric had been through one too many fights, and ripped heartlessly to pieces in her hands. She was hyperventilating now. She was going to die she was going to die she was going to-

A white cloth fell on her head all of a sudden. "You don't like showing your face anymore? Just so you know, no one here thinks you're a demon." Gray said, in an embarrassed voice. Mira was frozen with shock for a moment, but when she had gotten control of herself again, she glanced curiously up at Gray, careful to hide her face of course. "I don't know if my shirt is ok, but if it will work for now I can go get you a new cloak." He offered quickly. _Anything to stop her screaming_ Gray thought. Erza had only just begun to get better; she didn't need to be reminded of what Gray knew she thought of as a failure on her part.

Before he could say anything more Mira bolted. She sprinted out of the guild holding the shirt close over her head, as the tattered remains of her cloak disintegrated behind her. The newly exposed clothes were equally tattered and foul, and quickly followed suite. She must have been quite the sight, sprinting through town wearing less and less with each step she took. But she couldn't stop. If she stopped her thoughts might catch up with her.

Her feet brought her to her destination before her brain even realized where she was heading. The house Lisanna had built with Natsu when they were little. When Mira saw the grave in front of it tears flooded from her eyes.

She felt herself sink the ground, shaking with cold. It wasn't summer anymore, and here she was, outside in the buff. She wrapped her arms around herself, drawing her legs closer to her, desperately trying to retain body heat, as a sob tore through her chest. God it hurt. She was almost positive now that the hit shed taken to the chest about a month ago had done something serious. Perhaps one of her ribs had punctured her lung. Maybe she'd die, Mira thought doubtfully. Her luck wasn't that good.

Once they started, she couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face. She could hear their voices in her head again. Begging for help. Screaming in pain. Blaming her. She dropped her chest onto her knees, clasping her hands to her ears and screaming for them to stop. She knew she shouldn't have come home. A demon had no place amongst a bunch of fairys.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Wh-what was that about?" Lucy asked bewildered. _She said she was a murderer, but she's a member of Fairy Tail._ She sighed, there must be something she wasn't getting, some inside joke or the like. _No not a joke. A backstory! A tragic past I don't know about! How exciting!_

She turned to Erza, about to ask for an explanation, but she was no longer standing next to her. Lucy whipped her head around, searching the guild for the red-head. Gray had disappeared too-hopefully to get a cloak and a new shirt. Natsu seemed to be unconscious. Since Levy was away with team Shadowgear-something about a trust building exercise-Lucy turned to Cana for information. She didn't bat an eye at the beer barrels scattered around her friend. Cana was easily the heaviest drinker Lucy had ever met. She'd been pretty proud of her drinking skills when she'd first come to Fairy Tail-after all the Heartfilia heir had to attend many fancy cocktail parties-but she'd gotten dizzy just from seeing how much Cana could drink.

Cana looked sourly at the now empty beer in her hand, before shoving it violently to the side. Drinking wasn't helping her drown out the memories. There simply wasn't anything strong enough. Even even downing the strongest drink she knew of she couldn't even get slightly buzzed. How many gallons would it take to forget for a few minutes? Her left leg twitched violently, the wound she'd gotten that day flaring up.

"You're not drinkning?" Lucy asked in a shocked voice, coming up from behind. She couldn't remember ever seeing Cana turn down a drink let alone shove one away. This story must be a lot more serious than she had realized. Shoving some barrels aside Lucy took a seat next to the card mage.

"Huh? Oh, no. Drinking wouldn't do me any good." Cana replied distractedly as she carefully unwrapped the bandages from her leg. She let out an involuntary hiss at the sight of the scar. Two years later and it was still bright red, tinged with black. But the scariest thing was that it was spreading. From what she could tell she was the only one who's wounds from that day hadn't healed. Even Erza had only the faintest of scars left on her face, and she'd taken a direct hit. She'd been sure Erza was going to go blind for a while there, but suddenly the angry lines had started to fade away. Cana had expected her's to follow suit, but they never had.

Lucy stared wide eyed at Cana's leg. "Sh-should I get someone to look at that?" She gasped, standing up to run at her friend's word.

Cana shook her head, and slowly re-wrapped her bandage. "No it's an old wound. A souvenir from that day. It just flares up once in a while is all." She'd gone to Porylusica of course, but the woman couldn't do anything for Cana other than make her the bandage that slowed down the spreading. And even that was hit or miss really, Cana noted. Sometimes she could feel it working, but others it was as though it was nothing but an irritant that accelerated the spreading. Now that Mira was back she supposed that she could ask her about it, but from what little she'd seen of Mira it didn't seem like she'd be able to handle it. Maybe someday Mira would be better-Cana was more than familiar with mental scars and knew first hand how long they could take to heal-and would be able to talk about what she had done, but it wouldn't be for a long time. And Cana more than suspected that would be too late.

"Um, that day?" Lucy asked in a confused voice. Confused, but curious. Very, _very_ curious. This smelled almost as good as Mira's backstory.

Cana blinked a few times. "O-Oh, right." She stuttered. "You weren't there so you wouldn't know…. Anyway did you want something from me?" She asked, deliberately changing the subject. Nothing could be as bad as talking about _that_.

Lucy chose to let it slide for now, she'd ask Levy about it later. For now she had to know about this long lost member! "What can you tell me about Mirajane?" She asked eagerly.

Cana cringed, and looked longingly at the empty beer bottle she'd thrown away. What she wouldn't give to be senseless right now. Still, even now, a small voice in the back of her head reminded her what had happened the last time she'd gotten drunk. _You didn't escape the memories. You relived them. Anything is better than that, right? Isn't that why you don't drink as much anymore?_ Cana bit the inside of her cheek, trying to block the memories shooting through her head. She still drank more than anyone else in the guild, but she always kept a very careful eye on exactly how much she drank. She wouldn't go anywhere near her limit anymore, and even though she knew that others-praticularly Master-had noticed her change in habits, she couldn't bring herself to talk about it.

 _Not that anyone else has talked about it._ Cana mused, glancing around the guild. Erza had shriveled back into her old shell-no, she'd far surpassed her old shell. Levy never talked about what she'd seen that day, although she'd grown noticeably closer to both Jet and Droy. Laxus had been pale when he came back, and for a few weeks he didn't do much of anything. Then he'd started taking S-class job after S-class job. He at least seemed to be more or less to his old self-not that Cana saw much of him either way. Natsu had been angry. He'd even scared Cana, those first few days. But then he'd just deflated. He'd left the guild one day and didn't come back for a month, and he just pretended like nothing had even happened. Every once in a while though, Cana would see Lucy do something Lisanna would have done, and she could see the pain in Natsu's eyes. Well, it hurt Cana too. Everyone had been close to Lisanna and Elfman. She wasn't sure exactly what had changed with Gray. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on. He didn't really act any differently, not exactly. It was more like his movements had become just a bit stiffer, his responses just a bit sharper than they had been before. _Well, that's just his way of grieving I guess._

"Cana?" Lucy asked, leaning in closer. She got the feeling that this story would be worth waiting for, but she couldn't help herself from being impatient. She balled her hands into fists in her excitement, not even noticing that she'd dug her nails into her leg.

Cana flinched away from Lucy's shinning face. Damn, she was so eager to hear this story. Cana barely managed to remind herself that Lucy wasn't _trying_ to make everyone hate her. She just didn't know any better. She bit her lip. When she closed her eyes, that scene was all she could see. Goose bumps crawled over her skin as she remembered the confusion. The smoke, and dust. The **blood**. She shivered, wrenching her eyes open, trying to keep calm. She could feel her palms beginning to sweat.

"Cana, are you alright?" Lucy was excited to hear the story, but she didn't want to hear it at the expense of her nakama. Stories were fun of course, but in the end the mental and physical well beings of her guild mates was far more important than anything else. "Look, just forget about it OK? I was just a little curious is all." She said, laughing nervously.

"No, it's alright." Cana said quickly. She plastered the smile she was used to forcing by now onto her face. "I just had the _worst_ mental image of Master when he was convinced her could do a gravure shoot for Sorcerer Weekly." Cana said with a laugh. "It was Mira who'd been asked to do the shoot. She was always getting asked to do stuff like that. Erza too, of course. They both preferred jobs to photo shoots though, so most of the time they'd just end up doing action shots. Erza and Mira would fight, and they'd have big photo spreads of it." Her smile was real now, not forced. It hurt a little, thinking back to the good old days. She'd actually been in a few of those photo shoots herself. Every time it was always Lisanna who'd break it up.

 _Come on, cut it out you guys. You're getting way too serious again. I don't want to have to rebuild the hall_ again _!_

 _Mira, I just saw this job and it looks perfect for us! Come on we gotta hurry, or someone else will take it-forget about this fight._

Cana froze, suddenly unable to talk over the lump in her throat. It was like she could hear Lisanna, as though she would come through the door any minute with Elfman yelling something about how the job they'd just been on had been manly.

"She sounds like a ton of fun!" Lucy giggled. "I can't wait to get to know her better."

Cana stared at Lucy for a moment. Of course she hadn't been deterred by Mira's erratic behavior earlier-she'd been in Fairy Tail long enough to know that everyone had their own problems. But Lucy didn't walk around with a poisoned leg everyday. She had never experienced the kind of the terror that Cana had that day.

She knew it wasn't Mira's fault. She'd never blamed her, not once had any of them really blamed Mira. Even Natsu had known from the start that it wasn't her fault-he'd just needed someone to yell at, someone to blame. Cana knew, and yet she could stop the fear that was creeping up inside her at the thought of having the take-over mage in the guild again.

And Cana hated herself for it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Erza ran out of the guild, desperate to catch up to Mira before she lost sight of her old-no her _former_ friend. Clearly Mira no longer considered her a friend. Even though Erza had suspected this from the beginning-known it practically-seeing Mira reject her had hurt in a way she hadn't expected. A part of her must have still been optimistic. Or maybe she'd seen herself in Mira.

The thought pulled Erza up short. She stared unseeingly ahead as she thought about that. There was no question that Erza was familiar with being afraid. Even though no one had spoken to her directly about it, she knew that they disagreed with her, that none of them thought that Elfman and Lisanna's death had been her fault. That was just how the people in Fairy Tail were. None of them would ever blame their own Nakama for something as serious as that. She'd heard later that Natsu had accused Mira of killing her siblings-that had hurt Erza more than she had ever thought words could hurt-but she knew that not even in that moment had he truly blamed her. He'd been grasping at straws for anyone or anything to blame. Part of Erza told her that it was the same for Mira, that she didn't blame her, not really. But that voice was so small Erza could barely hear it. Or maybe it was more like Erza blamed herself too much to listen to it. Whatever the reason the effect was the same: Erza had become terrified of becoming close to any of her guild mates. And as time went on she'd begun to get used to being alone-to the point where she was scared to be in the guild when it was busy. She'd seen that fear in Mirajane in those few moments in the guild. She knew what it was like to drown in fear. She knew she'd do anything to save someone from feeling like that ever again if she could.

Movement finally snapped Erza out of her thoughts. Glancing around told her she'd gotten about fifteen feet from the guild before stopping. It seemed impossible that all she could have had so many thoughts in such a short period of time. Shaking her head she turned to attention to what had caught it in the first place; an old man yelling at a young lady who appeared to be trying to help him up. She appeared to be having some difficulty however, perhaps because of all the groceries she was carrying. Cautiously Erza made her way to the man, and extended an armor-clad hand silently to the man pulling him to his feet.

"Good to see at least _one_ of you Fairy Tail rats has some respect for their elders. Honestly, you're always making a ruckus at ungodly hours. Kids these days! Thinking they can just knock people over and not deal with the consequences! In my day, if you didn't apologize you'd get forty lashes!" He paused long enough to spit on Erza's boot before stumbling away, muttering something about how the death penalty was the best thing in the world and how it should be used more often.

"I'm so sorry about my father!" The woman said quickly. "He didn't mean anything by that, he's harmless I swear! He's just unhappy that the wizard knocked him into the mud, that's all." She said with a slight bow, before rushing after the old man.

"Wait!" Erza called. "Which way did she go?"The lady turned around long enough to point towards the woods before scurrying after her father.

From there Erza only had to follow the trail that the fallen people pointed out to her. It didn't take her very long to find Mira. She'd chased after her without thinking, but standing in front of the handmade tombstone, she wasn't sure if it had been the right choice. She had no idea what Mira was feeling. _Why won't she show her face? Does she still blame me for everyone's deaths?_ Thousands of thoughts were flying around in her head, causing her heart to beat faster, breathing to become harder. Anxiety had become her constant companion in Mira's absence.

But she was working on it. She'd made friends in Lucy, Natsu and Gray. She wasn't as scared as she used to be. She could drink with Cana again without remembering all the time they spent together in the infirmary. Her scars were slowly fading away-literally, every time she looked in the mirror the lines that crossed her face became less and less visible. But now Mira was back, and she had no idea how she should feel.

The sound of footsteps broke Erza from her thoughts. She spun around, requiping a sword, to see that it was Gray. He raised his arm showing that he'd brought a new cloak for Mira.

"I came to deliver this, and to get my shirt back." He explained when he reached Erza's side.

She just nodded, and turned to the oblivious Mira. She'd been sitting in the hut the entire time, not moving, not making any noise. "Mira?" Erza called tentatively. When the take over mage didn't respond she place her hand on Mira's shoulder.

Mira spun around, prepared to fight, but froze upon seeing the shocked faces of Erza and Gray.

"Mira your face-" Gray sputtered.

"Are you OK? Are-are you sick?" Erza stammered.

Mira blinked at her for a moment. She probably was sick. She hadn't eaten properly even once during the two years she had been gone. She'd broken her arm twice, but had never seen anyone about getting it healed. She couldn't even count the number of times she'd gotten involved in a knife fight anymore. Her chest was probably one massive bruise, likely barely visible underneath the hair she hadn't bothered to cut. She tried to picture what she looked like in their eyes, but she realized with a shock that she couldn't recall what her face looked like. "I don't know, I couldn't exactly go to a doctor." She muttered finally, trying to sound mean and threatening. She sure didn't feel threatening, sitting naked in a bunch of old straw, but it must have worked since she noticed that Erza flinched when she snatched the cloak out of Gray's hands.

Gray blinked in shock at the rough sound of Mira's voice, it hurt just hearing her speak. "Why couldn't you go to the doctors, Mira?" He asked slowly.

Erza shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Right now we need to get you to Porylusica. Gray, help me walk her there, I don't trust her legs."

"I can walk perfectly fine." Mira tried to insist, but her argument fell flat when she realized she couldn't even stand up. Of course they'd choose now to act up. Of course they would. She gritted her teeth in frustration. Roughly throwing the cloak around herself, hunching over in defeat.

"Mira, here let me help you up." Erza insisted hesitantly. Mira snarled and slapped the hand away. The metal was cruel against her scarred hand, and she quickly withdrew it in pain. She felt like a trapped animal, cowering in hay, looking up at Erza and Gray. It was so frustrating that she almost wanted to cry. But her tears were never to be used to pity herself. She couldn't allow it.

Erza leaped backwards, shaking heavily. "I-I'm sorry." She stuttered. She tried to walk backwards, but tripped over herself, and landed on the ground with a hard thump.

Mira couldn't understand this new Erza. Had she gone soft in the two years she'd been gone? Somehow that irritated Mira more than it should have. _Why should she be allowed to be weak when I had to fight for my life? Where's the justice in that? She should have trained her ass off to make up for her inability to kill me._ Mira was about to lay it on to Erza, but her chest seized up again.

Gasping she clenched at her chest, falling to her side, curling into a fetal position as spasms wracked through her body. She couldn't help the gasps and screeches she made, it felt like someone was ripping her in half. Even though she was still cold, sweat began to stand out on her skin.

"Mira, whats wrong?" Gray demanded, reaching forward to get her out of the hut and to, well he wasn't quite sure what he'd do after that, but he definitely needed to get her out of the hut and figure out what was going on.

"Don't touch me!" Mira screeched at Gray, spitting acid at him. Gray jumped back as the straw he'd been sitting on dissolved before his eyes. _That's new._ He noted dryly. "Look Mira, I'm just trying to help you out-" He began carefully.

"I don't need your fucking help! Stay the hell away from me! I'll kill you if you try and touch me." She could barely even whisper now, it hurt so bad. She clutched at her chest harder as her vision blurred. _Air, I need more air._ Mira thought desperately. Her chest fought to contract and expand, but searing pain kept stopping her from getting a lungful. She felt her mouth open in desperation, felt herself curve backwards, shakily, anything to be able to breath.

Erza bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. She shoved herself off the ground. Mira wasn't going to die on her watch. She wouldn't have another death on her hands. She shoved past Gray, not meeting Mira's accusing glare. Erza flinched mentally just from that look, and bit her lip even harder, but her mind was made up.

With a swift punch to the gut Mira was out for the count.

"What did you do that for Erza?" Gray gasped.. "She was obviously in pain why would you punch her?" He asked, hands preparing to Ice Make at any time. Gray wasn't sure if he'd be able to take down Erza if she got serious, but he'd have to try. He couldn't just watch Mira die.

"She wouldn't have let us help her if she was awake. Besides now that she can't feel the pain she's breathing." Erza said flatly, as she leaned down to pick up the girl.

"Couldn't you have found a gentler way?" Gray asked tiredly as he picked himself up off the ground. At least he had his shirt back now, he though dryly.

"I didn't think my hit would do as much as it did, to be honest. I'm almost positive she has broken ribs. She's got to have nerve damage in her legs, with burns like that there's just no way she wouldn't." She shook her head, as the lump in her throat stopped her voice. "Gray…. What happened to her?" She could feel tears dripping down her face. This was her fault. If she'd been stronger two years ago, Mira would be fine right now. Elfman would be fine. Lisanna would be more than an empty grave and bittersweet memories.

Gray put his hand on Erza's shoulder firmly. "I don't know, but whatever it was it wasn't your fault." Gray said clearly. "What happened back then was terrible. It shouldn't have happened, but it was no ones fault. There was nothing more that you could have done."

Erza didn't look at him for a while. She finally opened her mouth to speak when Mira moaned groggily. "Anyway we need to get Mira to Porylusica." She said determinedly, and began marching off.

She couldn't listen to him. She needed to repent for her sins. She had forgotten how much blood was on her hands. She shouldn't have made friends. That was a mistake. She was destined to be alone forever.

* * *

I keep forgetting to put my afterwords in these chapters.

I'm really sorry this chapter took so long, I've actually the bulk of it written since I published the first chapter so it really should have been uploaded by now. I just felt that it needed more work-and it did get some, at least-and so I kept saving it for some other time.

I can't say when more uploads will be out, I've been dealing with alot of anxiety lately, and I've also been focusing on my own stories, since fanfiction can't get published. I do have a few more chapters written but they need alot of editing and I'm not sure when I'll have time to do that. I'd apologize but in all honesty, my health is more important than fanfiction.

I also apologize for any errors I've missed in this chapter-I'm terrible at catching them and spell checks only go so far. The out of characterness that is undoubtedly present... yeah, I also apologize for that.

Also, I tottaly did just throw Cana in as a main character because she's my favorite character-I admit it and I take full blame.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Cana opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't make any noise. In her head she was seeing that day again. Blood everywhere, dark magic blasting every which way. And the poisoned claws raking down her leg. The devil shooting towards her, aiming for her face. Erza taking the hit instead. She shuddered, goosebumps crawling all over her skin. "I'd rather not…. She should tell you herself." She gasped, trying to get a hold of herself.

Lucy mentally bulked at Cana's reaction. Cana wasn't a weak person by any means. If she was acting this scared then whatever happened must have been pretty serious. _Still, did she really need to drink six bottles? Just to say that!_ Lucy thought, rubbing her wallet in frustration. There went this month's rent money. She'd need to go on another job request to make up for it, but with Mira's sudden arrival she wasn't sure who she'd be able to go with.

"Why don't you take Natsu to Porylusica's?" Cana suggested, trying to distract both herself and Lucy. "Mira can hit pretty hard, she might have actually done some damage." She tried to laugh, but it sounded hollow. She grabbed for another bottle of beer, but the bartender tactfully slid it out of her reach. Lucy hadn't actually paid enough for the six she'd already downed, and if Cana had anymore, it would have to come out of _her_ personal pay check.

And these stupid Fairy Tail mages weren't worth it. Especially not that Mirajane bitch. She felt her self stiffen in anger as she thought of the monster. She'd watched so many people die that day. She'd almost died herself. It was only thanks to Porylusica that she was alive right now. But she'd been the only one of her family that lived. She had to work at the fucking place that demon had come from just to survive. The pay was shitty and the customers were rude and unpleasant. There had been multiple occasions when the master had gotten a little too drunk and tried to sexually harass her. Actually, some of the older members did that even when they were sober.

But she'd get her revenge.

She hadn't realized how hard she'b been squeezing the glass in her hand until it shattered. She shrieked in shock as Lucy and Cana jumped out of the way of the glass shards. "S-sorry about that. I guess I'm a little spooked." She said trying to laugh it off.

"It's alright….. uh…" Cana started, but couldn't remember the name. She looked to Lucy for help but she just shook her head.

"It's Qiu." She muttered through clenched teeth. She'd been here for two years and they still couldn't remember her god damn name. She turned hotly on her heel to grab the broom and sweep up the mess.

Lucy just blinked before turning back to Cana. "Anyway, I guess you're right." She muttered, disappointed. She couldn't begin to imagine what Mirajanes backstory might have been. Something pretty bad if even Cana was afraid to tell it. With a final resigned sigh, she emptied her wallet onto the counter with a nod to Qiu. As she dragged a dazed Natsu to his feet, she grinned excitedly.

The mystery just made it all the more interesting.

Qiu just sighed as Lucy bumped into her as she was sweeping up the glass.

Cana stared blankly at the empty mug before her. Her leg really _was_ bothering her today, perhaps Lucy was right and she should see Porlyusica. Cana knew that the old healer wouldn't be too appreciative of getting two different patients in one day, but maybe with Mira's return they'd finally find a cure for Cana's leg. Perhaps with Mira's poison they'd be able to make some sort of an antidote. Well, she'd give it some thought anyway. After all no _no one_ wanted to risk setting off Porlyusica.

* * *

So, this is finally a thing again. Sorry it's so short, but short chapters happen.

It's been so long since I've written this I've forgotten a lot of what I wanted to do with it. I do believe I intended this story to be eventual Mirza (Merza? I don't remember shipping names) and I like that pairing well enough so we'll just go with that.

I know I had previously edited and expanded this chapter-and the next after that, I believe-but I lost those edits. I almost lost my originals too, which was part of the reason I haven't updated in so long.

Another reason I haven't updated in forever and a day is that I was generally displeased with where my stories on here were going. Very displeased. But the only way for something to get better is to work on it, and people seem to enjoy this, so we're going to work on it together. I'm planning on going through the previous chapters and catching spelling errors as well, just a heads up about that.

Also, I remember I chose the name Qiu because it meant something but I've forgotten what. Just in case you needed another reminder that I'm a terrible fanfiction writer.


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